Baby Carriage Full of Beercans: 01/18/2004 - 01/25/2004

Baby Carriage Full of Beercans

Assfulls of goodness.

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Location: New York, New York, United States

There's nothing sadder than an aging hipster. That's why I've been so uncool all these years.

Saturday, January 24

Constantly interrupted + Extreme Elvis link

I try not to cuss all the damn time when I write, but that is going to be a little difficult at this moment... I'm going to flip out!

I have come to the conclusion, as much as I like to be a feminist rather than a "sexist jerk," that all the women I am familiar with constantly need to vocalize their inner thoughts. When they're not busy interrupting you to say whatever is on their mind, they are simply choosing to listen to the voice inside their heads over the actual sound coming from your mouth. They can always get you to repeat your frivolous words by simply asking "what?" enough times until they have actually maintained the focus required to hear and understand what you're saying.

And now I understand why older men are often quiet, "hen-pecked" buggers who look like the life was sucked out of them somewhere around my age. I also understand why women are often so easily offended; they're too busy hearing what they want to hear and saying what they want to say to actually hear what you're saying. (<-- This actually just happened to me, so fuck you!)

Yes, yes, I suppose this could apply to guys as well. It just so happens that when I actually do hang out with guys they are nothing like this, but I suppose that could be due to any number of factors. However, to show I'm fair here, I'd like to point out that women are simply the latest group of humans that have come to annoy me. Pretty much last on the list, actually. I got sick of kids and most of my male friends years ago.

I work with all women and spend my free time with my girlfriend and her friends, who happen to be all women. I like women, I really do. I prefer them, in fact, to just about any other type of human you could present me with. But, I am about to blow a fuckin' gasket if I get interrupted or ignored one more time. I just felt the urge to spasmodically slam some doors or smash something over my head or smash my head into a door and then slam the door on my head.

Roll the hate comments. But, first realize that every fucking day of my life I open my mouth ONLY to repeat what I've just said or, possibly worse, to be interrupted so many fucking times that I can't remember what I originally wanted to say.

And the funny thing is I barely ever speak! Maybe that's why I felt the need to start bloggin'. Nobody will interrupt me here. Nah, actually, I just wanted a place to store links and stuff... Come to think of it, I should probably go watch some videos of Extreme Elvis to get me in a better mood. Nothing like watching a fat naked Elvis impersonator drink his own urine from one of his blue suede shoes and then shove a microphone up his butt. (That particular show I'm describing is the one labeled "Paradise Lounge 2/16/01" in the Audio/Video section.)

Alice Donut

Been listening to Alice Donut for the past week. The band was nice enough to put all 7 of their old albums online in mp3 format [ go here ] and I was lucky enough to discover it in time to download them all.

I've always wanted to hear more of them and now that I have, I'm pretty sure that this would have been an all-time favorite if I had stolen "Donut Comes Alive" instead of "Hairway To Steven" when I was a kid. They got your fast, your psychedelic, your hard as hell headcrushers and funny tunes about nonfunny subjects, too!

I'm not sure why a band this great is so obscure. Maybe they made the mistake of staying on Jello Biafra's record label. I mean, Jello Biafra. Come on! I for one wouldn't have intentionally bought anything from Alternative Tentacles since the age of 15 or so. Let's face it, those bands suck (don't they? I wouldn't know! I never listen to them!). One might assume, by taking a look at their great cover art (and by that I mean "bad"), that they put about as much effort into marketing their music as Helios Creed (another obscure but awesome mofo).

Anyway, yeah, this band probably would've been my favorite at some point. Every album is pretty different, though all negative as hell in a fun and rocking way --and I don't do the negativity rock these days (well, as much as I *should*, anyway).

If you go about downloading, let me recommend the following "mix" (and don't forget to WAIT FOR THOSE CHORUSES! They're the best!):

1. Lydia's Black Lung - donut link
2. Mother of Christ - donut link
3. Egg - donut link
4. Untidy Suicides - donut link
5. Hang The Dog - donut link
6. The Tingler - donut link
7. Magdalene - donut link
8. She Loves You, She Wants You - donut link
9. Annie's Empty - donut link
10. I Walked With A Zombie - donut link
11. Dreaming In Cuban - donut link
12. Big Cars & Blow Jobs - donut link
13. Green Pea Soup (about Linda Blair) - donut link

#'s 1, 10 -13 = fun rock tunes
#'s 2 - 6 = pretty heavy and loud
#'s 7 - 9 = how many alternative bands were Alice Donut fans, anyway?