Baby Carriage Full of Beercans: Mind Machines You Can Build!

Baby Carriage Full of Beercans

Assfulls of goodness.

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Location: New York, New York, United States

There's nothing sadder than an aging hipster. That's why I've been so uncool all these years.

Friday, May 21

Mind Machines You Can Build!

They changed blogger and I haven't been here in three weeks. Know why? Of course not. Because I've been doing experiments. I got a funny little book by a NASA scientist that wanted to disprove PSI (mental super awesomeness) and so created some experiments to confirm the nonexistence of simple bullshit telekenutcake powers.

So he did.

He made like 40 machines or something to test simple "supposed" powers. But, the weird thing is he proved that these ridiculous "mind machines" actually worked, despite the fact it made no fucking sense!

He then made a book called Wonderful And Amazing Mind Machines You Can Build! and gave details on how to construct these super-simple mind machines and experiment for yourself!

I bought this fuckin' book and immediately got to work on one of the "MIND MACHINES". All I needed was a needle, a piece of paper and some scissors. Yes, that's all it takes to build your first "MIND MACHINE"!!!! But, it is actually WAAAAYYY interesting, despite that it sounds like crafts class. You can, like I did, verify this shit for yourself!

(Give it a shot!)

1. Take a regular 8.5 x 11" size piece of letterhead paper. It is rectangular. Make it a square. Use your powers of logic to take those SCISSORS and make that rectangular piece of paper a SQUARE! I'm not going to tell you how. You should know. Just cut off enough of the paper to make it a SQUARE. You got that? Do it.

2. Fold the paper from corner to corner to make an "X" in the square paper. TIP: You start with a square, but you create a triangle two times.

3. Now you have a little pyramid. Why? Because if you take a square piece of paper and fold it from corner-to-corner twice, you end up with a little "X" in the square paper and that makes a little "tent" or "teepee" effect that resembles what a douchebag might call: THE PAPER PYRAMID.

4. Take a fucking pin or a needle or something. Take that damned wirey object with a sharp point and stick it somehow so that the sharp point faces skyward. Just make sure the little lightningrod is pointing upward and stabilized. (Try not to think of sex).

5. PAPER PYRAMID! Remember that thing? You folded a square piece of paper? Well, take that square piece of paper and set it on the point of the needle you just "stabilized." It looks like a little umbrella, doesn't it?

6. Now put your hands over the PAPER PYRAMID / NEEDLE UMBRELLA and imagine the paper spinning in a clockwise motion. Just imagine that you have forces in your hands which will spin the paper in a clockwise direction. MAKE SURE THE WINDOWS ARE NOT OPEN AND THERE ARE NO DRAFTS. MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE NOT BREATHING ON THE PAPER UMBRELLA. There is no draft of air and no breath of air moving the umbrella. But, still... if you imagine that you are moving the umbrella clockwise with nothing but the powers of your hands... does the PAPER UMBRELLA move clockwise? If there is no wind currents, why should it move?

This NASA scientist came to the strange conclusion that all these things (provable for yourself) are actually true. Try it out for yourself.

I'm drunk and high.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I said to myself I says, "Self," I says, "You're a real douchebag."

May 21, 2004 at 12:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you hear Phish are breaking up? By the way, I hate this new format. Adam.

May 25, 2004 at 7:24 PM  
Blogger Dr. Strange said...

Phish breaking up? They just got back together and are releasing a new album in June. Certainly, you must be high.

By the way, if you hate this new format, you will hate it even more tomorrow when I get back to work and reinstate the generic format.

I posted this format accidentally, but have the saved version at work.

May 25, 2004 at 10:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read on CNN yesterday that they just announced they are breaking up, and everyone is surprised because they are releasing an album next month, but they are breaking up. And I would welcome the generic format. Adam.

May 26, 2004 at 2:00 PM  
Blogger tim boucher said...

that book sounds fucking cool as hell

June 16, 2004 at 10:09 PM  
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